Making LIfestyle Trade Offs

The stock market is making no sense to me at the moment. I keep reading that the stock market is not the economy, which, OK I sort of get. But then again, not really.

Thus, even though we are now pretty much back to our pre-COVID portfolio, I'm still somewhat mistrustful of it remaining that way, so instead of ramping up our spending in light of several new revenue streams coming on line now that my hubby is turning 65, we're making some trade offs instead so that the additional revenue can sit safely unused until the world calms itself just a bit more.

Here are some of the changes we're making as a result of shifting priorities during this time of COVID.

• As much as we've been home since early March, I've discovered that I really don't enjoy cleaning our house. I like to keep it tidy and organized and decorated, but that is pretty much where it stops. So we recently hired a housecleaner to come in every four weeks to do the deep cleaning, and after just one visit I'm in heaven. So nice to have the entire house spic and span clean!

The subsequent tradeoff is that I'm going to stop coloring my hair for the near future in that I'm actually rather liking the dark blonde with silver highlights that is presenting itself at my crown. Yep, the money saved from this will completely cover the cost of the housecleaner. Oh woman, vanity truly is thy name! 😄

 

• We are craving having somewhere outside to go hang out on a regular basis, so we recently joined a second wine club in our area.* This one offers outdoor dining, plus two free glasses of wine daily for wine club members. Daily! Which, LOL, we won't be availing ourselves of. What we are planning is to have dinner there weekly, on the night they offer wine club members half price on all food. The food is excellent, and with free wine and half price food, we can enjoy a lovely outdoor evening each week for less that $20.

* For those of you that are curious, the grapes for both wineries we now belong to are sourced from Paso Robles, one of our states most robust wine regions.

The subsequent trade off is that we won't be dining out for dinner at full price restaurants as often. Which is fine, because if full service dining was expensive before COVID, my guess is that it's going to be even more expensive now due to all the safety provisions that are being put into place.

• We have really enjoyed packing up our dinner and eating it somewhere scenic and outdoors.

The subsequent trade off is that I'm having to adjust my weekly meal planning to accommodate pack and go type meals, which take just a bit more time than meals eaten at home.

• Home cooking rocks, as do farmers markets, so our grocery budget is now being spent at it's fully budgeted $100 a week, instead of coming in under budget due to shopping at primarily just two places. Instead, I've enjoyed visiting a variety of grocery places each week, so that I can shop sales, but also purchase specialty items. For example, Whole Foods has amazing fresh baked sourdough bread, Sprouts is great for produce, Trader Joe's has the best cheese, and farmers markets have the best tamales, hummus, and pita, hands down

The subsequent trade off is not so much money as time - this all takes more time and effort than confining my shopping to just two stores. But hey, where else do I need to be these days???

 

• With our travel budget slashed for the next year or two, we've decided to shift the amount we aren't spending over to our Hobbies account, and begin taking golf lessons. I was gifted a set of women's golf clubs by a friend looking for a home for a set they no longer needed, and my husband already owns a set, so our getting started fees should be minimal. Shoes and gloves for me is about all, and not even gloves if I can use my bicycling gloves. I'm looking forward to it in that it will get us outside even more than we are already outdoors.

The subsequent trade off is less international travel for now. But we'll still be able to travel in our RV as much as we wish, plus fly back east to visit our family whenever we wish, so I'm fine with it. And if golfing takes off, then we'll allocate some of our new revenue stream to it at the point we feel comfortable returning our Travel budget back to it's pre-COVID amount.

Additional zero cost lifestyle changes we're making as a result of COVID are daily weight strengthening sessions in our garage using free weights we already own, after-dinner trips to the beach to  sit and enjoy the sunset, more frequent visits to our adults-only HOA pool, and trips to the beach to play in the surf with our boogie boards, something we hadn't done since we were teenagers. 

If COVID has done nothing else, it has forced us, helped us, to re-focus our priorities. Which I do think is the point when the going gets rough. It's an opportunity to peel back the layers of life and begin again with that which matters most deeply to each one of us.

What about you? What lifestyle tradeoffs have you discovered you are willing to make as a result of the pandemic?

What I'm Doing Currently

In taking a cue from a couple of blog posts I've read recently, today I'm going to respond to a random set of cues currently in rotation. Plus the timing is good - I could use a temporary distraction right about now!

(P.S. I would love for others to play along so that we can enjoy small glimpses into each other's current lives, so please consider doing so in the comment section below.)

What I Am Currently . . . 

Buying: Lots! If we are going to be  stuck  here for the summer, I would like it to be spent outside as much as possible. So I've purchased a couple of heavy duty umbrella stands and 10' ft. sun umbrellas to increase the amount of shade in both the front and back yard sitting areas, plus replacement umbrellas for a couple that were pretty faded out. I've also ordered several new inflatable kayaks to replace our current set, because we are very much enjoying our increasingly longer paddles around Newport Harbor, and we therefore need better quality inflatable kayaks than we've been using.

Our kayaking buddies on the left, me and hubby on the right. 

And I've purchased oodles and oodles of indoor and outdoor toys for our granddaughters to use this summer while they and their family stay with us here. I've bought fishing poles, boogie boards, an inflatable pool, pool toys, coloring books and markers, puzzles, games, and lots of ocean-oriented pretend toys. At this rate, the girls are going think it's Christmas morning when they arrive!

Craving: Craft beer, enjoyed at a craft beer brewery. I love the craft beer brewery environment almost as much as I love the beer. Craft breweries have a young, hipster vibe that I find delightful, even as a non-youngster, non-hipster! Nicely, our oldest daughter just asked us to join her and her boyfriend at one of our very favorite craft breweries, Modern Times, so we'll be heading down to San Diego next weekend to do just that. 

From pre-COVID times:
The family that bicycles and drinks craft beer together stays together.

Discussing: What our role is as white people in working to lift the weight of discrimination off of African Americans. Along those lines, I've been reading, watching, listening, and pondering about this issue every moment I possibly can. And also along those lines, I will be re-watching this excellent, 2016 Oscar-nominated documentary, which is normally hidden behind the Netflix paywall, but that can now be watched for free via YouTube at the link below:

 

Feeling: Equal parts of despair and hope (See above 🥺) intermixed with excitement about our daughter and granddaughters arrival in a couple more weeks.

Wearing: Layers. We are in the California late spring/early summer season of cool, wet mornings and warmer, dryer afternoons. So for now that means tank tops under long sleeve shirts, and a sweater kept handy in the car.

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How about you? What are you currently buying, craving, discussing, feeling and wearing? 

How Can I Do Better?

Much reflection on my part these last series of days as a result of the obscene murder of George Floyd. As much as I would like to think I am fully evolved, after hours and hours spent watching and listening to the pain that is pouring out from the African American community, I newly understand that I still have a long, long way to go. And that, I believe, is one of the best outcomes that can occur from all of this. To better understand that as much as I think I 'get it,' I really don't, because I can't. I'm an outsider looking in, and I therefore need to simply be quiet and take a seat so that I can continue to listen and learn.

I'm not going to attempt to make myself feel better by sharing here about all the times and ways that I've surely proven over the years that I am not racist. Because what I think I've come to now, and this after spending many decades attempting to self educate on this issue in order to do better, is that it's almost impossible not to have inherent racism within. Because for most of us the indoctrination begins at birth, and much as we might wish it to be otherwise, those voices we all heard while growing up, without even necessarily understanding them as voices of racism, are still in our heads talking to us. 

I'm also not going to attempt to pontificate about racism, because regardless of where I think I am on the evolved continuum, I newly understand that by default I am part of the problem simply by virtue of being white in the United States. And yes, I do think it is as simple as that. I am white, and with that comes privilege that I may never fully understand. 

So what is my obligation going forward? In giving it a great deal of that, I don't think it's so much about stepping down from my privilege as I understand and experience it, but rather to instead work to clear a wide, wide path so that other others can step up into it as well. 

Obtainable? I don't know. But I feel morally charged to try and try and try, and then to try again.

As a small step here, infinitesimally small perhaps, I've expanded my blog roll to include other perspectives that I need to begin taking in on a regular basis. And to not only read, but to begin commenting on as well, so that if and when I stumble and blindly present my privilege, I'll be in a position to be called out on it, in order to learn to do better.

Today is Mr. Floyd's funeral. Normally I would probably not have taken the time to stop my life in order to watch it, but today I will. And more importantly, I will do my best to listen in the hope that I will learn about how I can do better going forward.

May peace be with you all.

Important Or Not?

I was reflecting this morning on how stressed and depressed I was through much of March and April as a result of the pandemic and subsequent shelter in place orders. It really was pretty awful, wasn't it? 

Feeling imprisoned is not something I was prepared for, and it took a pretty significant toll on me emotionally, physically, and mentally.

So as we begin to open up here in California, I am trying to be very conscientious about what I will and will not do in the weeks and months ahead. As in, what is truly important in my life, and what is simply superfluous?

This is what I believe to be truly important, and worth taking whatever risks might be involved:

• Time with family. I am willing to take on the risk of not being 100% sure that either of my two daughters or two granddaughters would arrive here pandemic germ free in order to see and spend time with them. A life without their ongoing presence is really not one I care to live.
• Time spent outdoors. Again, similar to above, I can't envision a life that doesn't involve enormous quantities of this. Generally while in motion, but sometimes just while sitting and taking in the beauty of the world. Fortunately, we have enough outdoor options to avoid the busiest trails and busiest beaches during times of greatest activity. Still, we are taking on risk, even if small, when we pass people, or are passed while out hiking, walking, or biking. Our time spent kayaking or paddleboarding are probably the two safest things we can do, in that distance on the water is pretty much assured, however neither works my legs, so I can't rely on them solely.

Endless amounts of this, please.

This is what I believe to be of moderate importance, and only worth doing if proper social distancing can be assured:

• Picnic get togethers with friends. We are enjoying these social dates tremendously, and hope to continue them on a regular basis with like-minded friends. Already we are sensing some pushback from a few of our more friends, but we are not willing to compromise at this time, so if they have to come off of our list for a time, well, so be it.
• Continuing to enjoy the occasional take out items, from bagels to coffee to full on meals. The variety they provide, and the opportunity to sit somewhere quiet and watch the world go by, are not insignificant. As long as everyone involved in handing over the food is masked, as are we, and as long as social distancing can be achieved while we are in line waiting our turn.
• Grocery shopping. Now that the first waves of panic over food shortages has subsided, it's back to being a, if not pleasant, at least not unpleasant, experience. So far everyone continues to be masked in the stores I frequent, medical feedback is continuing to point to surface traces of the virus being minimal, and I enjoy being able to shop for the many small items that make our produce-heavy dinners so interesting, tasty, and nutritious.
• Visiting our public libraries once they reopen. Generally a quiet, calm place, and again, medical evidence increasingly appears to be pointing toward surfaces as not being a significant point of concern. E-books are fine in a pinch, and I've been checking them out regularly since shelter in place began, but I much, much prefer paper books. Less distracting than an e-reader where many other things can be done other than just read, books are easy to read and see when outdoors, and there is a calmness in holding a real book that is hard for me to describe.

This is what I believe to be of minimal importance currently, and not worth doing until an effective treatment, vaccine, or sufficient herd immunity has been achieved;

• Restaurant dine in servicing of any sort, whether indoors or out. I simply don't want someone coming over to us repeatedly to either serve us or see how we are doing. Simply too much contact at this point in time.
• Attending our spiritual services in person. Virtual services are working out beautifully, and we are happy to continue.
• Attending our learning programs in person. Similar to above, virtual learning is working out just fine.
• Attending any live performances in person. Again, streaming of live performances is working out terrifically, and with much better sight lines!
• All travel other than in our RV.

Still up for debate - getting our haircut. I've pretty much decided to stop having color weaved into my hair for now in that 1) it simply takes too much up close and personal time, and 2) I'm not minding the natural color that is increasingly visible. My real hair at this point is a dirty blond with silver/gray highlights, and I'm surprisingly OK with it. Still, a decent cut for both me and my husband would be nice, so I am watching carefully to see what happens with this recent headline about two symptomatic hairstylists in Missouri.

What are you prioritizing currently? And what are you fine letting go for now?

Yep, Life Is Definitely Feeling Brighter

I'm not sure if it's that more things are opening up here in California, the gorgeous weather we've been having, or a combination of the two, but I'm feeling a lot better these days, and much more accepting of the altered reality that will likely remain in place until either an effective treatment, a vaccine, or herd immunity is achieved at some point.

What's improved here: 

• All of our county wilderness parks have reopened, including parking and bathrooms.
• All of our county beaches have reopened for active usage, though they seem to be tolerant of families with young children that just want to dig in the sand. This will be important once our granddaughters arrive in late June!
• Along with our county beaches reopening, about 50% of their parking has been reopened, plus bathrooms.
• Restaurants are once again allowing people to sit and eat their food, though we are not interested in doing anything but sitting outside of a fast casual, non full-serve restaurant, with broad spacing between tables. 

Because of these changes, our lives are feeling full enough once again to carry us for a long, long time to come. 

We can now:

• Hike anywhere we want in the county.
• Bicycle the entire length of our county's coastline, plus portions of nearby San Diego county.
• Paddleboard and kayak in any of our four nearby harbors.
• Enjoy a picnic dinner at any of our parks, beaches, or harbors.
• Hang out at our adults-only HOA pool, or at one of the family HOA pools once our daughter and granddaughters get here next month.
• Meet friends and family for Social Distancing meal get togethers at any of our many parks, particularly the ones with views of the ocean or harbor.

So we are creating a new lifestyle that fits with the current reality of COVID-19. And it's a damn good lifestyle, perhaps even nicer than the awfully busy one we had prior. 

Here's an overview of this past week and coming weekend. 

Monday- Ten mile hike in one of our coastal wilderness parks, with a stop midway for lunch on a ridge looking down on Laguna Beach.

Tuesday- Kayaked with friends in Newport Harbor, pausing midway for a floating picnic lunch.

Wednesday- Ten mile hike in another one of our coastal wilderness parks, enjoying a take out lunch from the iconic Crystal Cove Shake Shack afterward.

Thursday- Paddle boarded around our local harbor in the morning, then made a return trip in the evening to enjoy a picnic dinner and watch the local sailboat club do their thing out on the water.

Friday- Bicycle ride south, with a lunch stop in San Clemente.

Saturday- Bicycle ride north, with a lunch stop in Huntington Beach.

Sunday- Walk to the beach for a picnic lunch.

I will say I am ever so appreciative to be healthy, fit, and active enough to get outside for long stretches of both time and miles. It does wonders, absolute wonders, for my emotional health. And for my physical health too, of course, but increasingly the emotional side is more critical.

Though I am happy to have avoided the dreaded COVID-15 (Think Freshman-15, for those who may not have heard about this, er, phenomenon, or seen a meme.)

😆

We also have started doing Social Distance picnic get togethers with friends. Just one couple at a time for now, in order to make maintaining a 6 ft. separation manageable.  Our basic rule of thumb is that we each arrive fully self contained so that no sharing occurs. Plus, we have a six foot blanket that we lay down as an easy-to-see barrier between chairs. So far it's been working great, and everyone has wanted to do it again, so, hip hip hooray, our weekends are starting to fill up again, which makes this extrovert very, very happy.

It's been soooo nice to see our friends in person, even if sitting 6+ feet apart, rather than by Zoom. 

But Zoom, and also live streaming, still has an important place in our lives, and likely will for some time to come. We Zoom our spiritual services, we Zoom as a family each weekend in that one of my daughter's lives on the opposite coastline, and we are continuing to live stream various performing artists. 

Today, for example, Yo-yo Ma is giving a live performance of Bach:

Other news is that I'm in the midst of a 30-Day Planking Challenge with family and friends. The first day was tough, as in I think I may have grunted a few times tough. But each subsequent day has gotten easier, and I'm already up to being able to hold my plank for a full minute. It feels pretty awesome, so here is a chart if one one is so inclined:

So I'm feeling much, much better, both physically and emotional, as life begins to open up bit by bit. 

How about you? How are you doing currently, emotionally and/or physically?

And Just Like That Life Got Better!

I have had a series of very, very difficult days this past week, prompted by a FaceTime call with our granddaughter, where for the first time in a long, long time she didn't talk about all the things she looked forward to doing the next time she visited. That broke my heart into about a million little pieces, and set off a cascade of emotions that consumed me for days. My spirits would lift during our outside activities, but would crash again quickly upon our return to the house.

I can live without travel, entertainment venues, restaurants, and large social gatherings. I can not, however, live without seeing my youngest daughter and granddaughters, far away from us on the east coast currently.

So this past week my husband and I were discussing just how we might be able to get to them without imperiling our lives, or theirs; primarily by flying out, either together or one at a time, for a prolonged visit. But we continued to vacillate, because summoning up enough energy to do the Metro DC area in the summer is rough. With everything in the area still closed, there is literally nowhere to go to escape the heat. Even the HOA swimming pool in my daughter's development is currently closed. Still, we were getting closer and closer to throwing caution to the winds, and booking flights back anyway.

Happily, joyously, we received a call from my youngest daughter yesterday while, ironically, we were walking at the beach and seeing families encamped everywhere with happy, sand and ocean playing children. She was desperate to get out of her town over the summer in that her husband will be deployed until September, and wanted to know if we were still open to having her and our granddaughters visit for a month in July. She had decided to drive out with the girls and her au pair, and turn the cross country trip into a road vacation, both coming and going. 

So just like that, my world flipped. Instead of feeling increasingly forlorn about not seeing our 5 and 2 year old granddaughters, we will be spending four weeks with them here. And there are already so very many things we'll be able to do with them, even if nothing else comes online between now and then. All of our local wilderness parks have reopened, our beaches remain open, and some of our beach parking is coming back online. I envision our days as starting off with a morning trip to a local, nature or wilderness park, home for lunch, then off to the beach down the road for an afternoon of fun in the sun. Once home from the beach, both girls should be ready for baths to get all that sand off, and then good to slow it down a bit and enjoy whatever is left of the day playing with the many things we have here for them to do. 

Plus there is cooking and baking together, campouts here in our back yard, outdoor movie theater nights where we can turn the upstairs TV out toward our balcony and huddle together out there, cookouts in the yard over the firepit, backyard games we can set up, water fountains, and an inflatable pool with lots of watertoys.

We are also going to make RV reservations at open and nearby Newport Dunes, which qualifies more as glamping than camping, however both girls will love it's proximity to the beach, and simply by bringing our trailer, will consider it an authentic camping experience. It also has the added benefit of being close enough to our home to allow their mom to drive back and forth with the two year old, who is likely to young to overnight with us and her sister at the resort.

My oldest daughter lives in a nearby coastal town as well, so there will be trips over there to BBQ and enjoy beach time. And I'm sure my youngest daughter will be taking the girls to their old home in San Diego County to visit friends as well, ensuring everyone gets some needed breaks from each other.

So even if nothing else comes back online, we'll be fine. And if it does? Well, great, we'll take it! But either way, it's going to be noisy, it's going to be chaotic, and it's going to be messy, but we can not wait.

And just like that, life got better.

A Few Thoughts About Our New Norm Lifestyle

A few random thoughts about our new-normal retirement lifestyle . . . about the only ones I have these days!

One of the things I've discovered since Shelter In Place began here in California on/around March 17, is that I desperately need both the endorphin deluge of being physically active, and the serenity boost of being outdoors for long periods, to feel like the best version of myself. On those days that I gave in to my lazy self, and don't do either, I pay big time, mentally speaking. So as our state slowly begins to open up just a bit this week, I resolve to continue to do more of both activities each and every week.

Photos from yesterday's nine mile hike along one of our coastal ridge wilderness trails.
We were mostly alone on the trail, the weather was glorious, and I was in my happy place.

The first casualty of this renewed focus on embracing the outdoors will be my 20+ year gym membership. I used the gym extensively during my working years, when my workouts had to be completed early in the cold and dark mornings, but only lightly since retiring in 2011. For the first five years of our retirement my paltry $10 monthly gym fees were a non issue in spite of my usage slipping to just a couple of times a month - I spent my new-found time hiking, biking, and traveling instead. When we relocated here to our new home three years ago, we had to 'up' our membership level to accommodate the new gym's slightly fancier amenities, meaning $20 a month per person instead of $10. Still pretty modest. However, after eight weeks of conducting my workouts primarily outdoors, plus my husband becoming eligible for a Silver Sneakers membership at the gym of his choice come June 1, we're dumping both gym memberships for a savings of $480 annually.

Along those lines, we are really enjoying the process of planning out seven days of outdoor activities each week (wilderness trails? beach walks? urban walks?), usually including a stop for lunch at the halfway point. Sometimes we pack a lunch at home, sometimes we pick up to go, sometimes we stop for to go coffee on the way home at a Peet's Coffee that has some spread apart outdoor tables set up. It's all been 100% satisfying, and has led to us deciding we prefer to be out and about during the day, but back at home for dinner. So, I see a natural reduction in our Restaurant budget of about $100 a month, or $1200 a year.

Which will likely lead to a reduction in our annual clothing budget - we'll be dressing up less because there will be less places to go and be seen. As much as we've been out and about hiking and walking, we have done so with the firm inclusion of social distancing and masks. No matter how quickly areas that allow congregating open up, we won't be joining in for a good long time to come. The coronavirus is still here and spreading, it's just been beaten back temporarily to allow our tracking and treatment processes to try and gear up enough to get ahead of the inevitable increase of cases that will soon be back upon us.

And with less places to go and be seen, our Entertainment budget will likely drop by $2000-$3000 a year. No concerts, symphonies, plays, stage talks, fairs, wine club events, dances, or anything else for a long, long time to come.

Our travel budget will also be minuscule for the next couple of years I imagine, because where can we go with any sort of confidence? Sure, we can probably fly there safely given the many changes airlines are making, but what's going to be open for visitors once we arrive? And what happens if there is a sudden and unexpected return to lockdown in the places we'd be visiting? Nope, just doesn't sound fun whatsoever at the moment.

Instead, as I posted a few days ago, we'll be doing lots of RV'ing, supplemented by trips to visit our family back east. In one lovely silver lining, however, our youngest daughter has just shared that she is desperate for some additional help in dealing with being a single parent during a pandemic, while her navy husband is away on deployment, so she has asked if we might be open to her bringing our granddaughters out for a long summer visit of up to six weeks. 'YES' we tried very hard not to shout loudly in response, bring our girls and come for as long as you care! Our home is ample in size, and there are oodles of activities that should be back on line by then, including play parks aplenty, miles of coastline, plus several HOA swimming pools, and we will divide and conquer to make sure the girls are outside and active for the bulk of each day. Here at home we have the ability to have outdoor campfires, outdoor movie nights, and yard games by the handful. It will be messy, and it will be noisy, but it's going to be fantastic. I am so excited, and I recognize they would never have come for such a long visit were it not for Coronovirus making life so difficult for my daughter currently.

Here in California today, it's Cinco de Mayo, which is practically a national holiday. Our plan for the day is to go on a six mile beach walk along one of our newly re-opened local beaches, then pick up burritos at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants providing takeout, and enjoy them at a park before returning back home in the mid-afternoon. Dinner will be BBQ'd chicken, sweet potatoes, and green beans, which we'll eat outside on what is supposed to be a gorgeous and warm evening.

Where you'll find us tonight.

What about you? Any random thoughts today on how your lifestyle might change going forward as a result of living with a pandemic?