A New Normal: Goodness We Go Out A Lot!

I have spent a couple of mornings following up on refund requests for the many activities we had purchased tickets for, that have now been cancelled due to COVID-19 Shelter In Place guidelines currently in place here in California. I'm talking, concerts (lots!), plays, featured speaker talks, and special tours . . . really, it has been a bit of a wake up to see how much of our time was spent paying to be entertained. I will add this to the list of things in my life that I would like to revise going forward - I need to be OK with staying home more than we have been!

On the bright side, however, we should be receiving refunds in the amount of about $1,000 $50 ($950 in refunds now received) once all is said and done.

I'm also awaiting refunds of about $3,000 $1700 ($1300 in refunds now received) for cancelled or altered airline reservations. Our May/June flightsto Spain were altered significantly by Norwegian Airlines prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, giving me the right to cancel our flight without charge at any point up until the day of new departure date and receive a full refund. A trip to Kentucky a little later this month was cancelled by the airline (I'd been playing a form of chicken, hoping the airline would cancel the flight before I was forced to), and the email I received about it from Expedia was a bit confusing in that it referenced receiving a credit instead of a refund. My research this morning indicated that the Federal Government has been very clear in mandating that refunds must be given if the airlines cancel a flight, regardless of the reason, including COVID-19.

So, with a combined amount for the above of approximately $4,000 $1,700 (as of 4/25), it's well worth my while to stay on top of all of things until they are all processed and received.

Other than that, the majority of the money flowing outward at this point is just for our normal run rate expenses of insurance, home utilities, taxes, and grocery/food, plus a couple of new technology items. For example, we are currently subscribing to basic level Zoom at $14.99 a month. We are also spending a few bucks each week to do live Zoom yoga with a local studio. And we've decided to do Saturday night takeout in order to spice up our weekends a bit while supporting some of our local eateries. Other than those items, my husband is indicated that our monthly spend is down about 50%. That sounds about right to me because we're spending zero currently on clothing, gas, entertainment, hobbies, home items, travel, and restaurant dining, the later largely driven by our various social engagements, most of whom we are now enjoying for free via Zoom video sessions instead.

I'm also realizing/accepting, that most if not all of our normal summer activities will likely not happen this year. So, more refunds are likely in our future for Laguna Beach's Pageant of the Masters, a trip to Mammoth Lakes with our oldest daughter to attend the Blues and Brews festival, and even further out, the Palm Springs International Film Festival next January. Regarding the later - until a COVID-19 vaccine comes out, I can't imagine going ahead with a film festival that draws over 100,000 people, the majority 65 years of age and older, and that involves standing close together in line for up to 90 minutes ahead of each tightly-packed film screening.

Instead, we hope to entertain family and friends here once it is safe to do so, and indulge in oodles of time at the beach, plus lots of scenic walking, running, hiking, kayaking, biking, and paddle-boarding. You know, the kind of stuff you generally go on vacation to do(!).

Hopefully, this COVID-19 timeout will leave me with a renewed sense of appreciation for what is right here already, and put a damper on my incessant need to seek out new experiences elsewhere.

I am, however, looking very much forward to our local craft breweries reopening. A late convert to the craft brewery scene, I am now a big, big fan, and nothing available at our local markets comes close to replicating what the many craft breweries in our area are able to do. And don't even get me started on the Hard Rootbeer my favorite one puts out! 😆

How about you? Any 'ah ha's' that you've been experiencing due to COVID-19?

A New Normal: Thankfulness And Meditation

A funny COVID moment this morning, when I woke up and had to concentrate really, really hard to remember what day of the week it was. Wednesday as it turns out!

Things I've been thankful for over the last few days-

• Being able to see the ocean from my home. It's so vast, and so beautiful, and my heart skips a beat every time I see it, even after three years of living here.
• The sights and sounds of nature. I've heard a barn owl hooting several mornings in a row this week, and there is a Nuttall's woodpecker working on a tree next door. The woodpecker in particular is giving me many moments of delight, even as my neighbor is considerably less enthused. 🤣

  

  
  

• Zoom video conferencing. We purchased the $14.99 monthly level subscription, and it has been an absolute lifeline for this extrovert. We've already spent many wonderful hours visiting with family and friends over the last few weeks, and it has been almost as nice as being together in person. This Easter Sunday we will be doing a supper time Zoom with our daughters and their families, with everyone placing their devices on their respective dining room tables as we all sit down to eat together. 
• Daily walks with my husband. We live in a very hilly coastal area, so we have lots of challenging up and down walks and hikes we are able to do from our home, with endless views as we do so. We currently have snow covered peaks we can see to the east, the ever changing ocean to the west, our many canyons are now a vibrant green due to recent rains, and the spring yellow-purple-orange wildflowers of mustard, lupin and poppy are just beginning to appear.

My daily goal list has been a tremendous benefit, grounding me each day, so that I have goals to focus on rather than swirling down an endless hole of depressing news stories. My husband and I continue to do what we can to ensure we remain healthy, so I need to continue to let go of the things that are currently beyond my ability to control. And you know what ? It's absolutely OK to find joy in our days in spite of the terrible things that are happening. As my go-to emotional health guru Eckart Tolle says, 'We have to take care of things, absolutely, but we don't have to be miserable, to worry, and to stress as we do so.'

Along those lines, daily meditation has been of tremendous help. Recently our spiritual congregation put out a helpful guideline for beginning meditation, which I've been using with success. I share it here for those of you also looking for meditation guidance:

Meditation can be a useful tool to cope with anxiety. One of the main objectives in meditation is to reduce anxiety by stopping the internal monologue, the labeling and the judging of things in your mind. By stopping the flow of words you can begin to simply experience sensations. 

Here are three basic tools for meditation you might experiment with to get started:

Body scan 

You have probably done something similar to this n a guided meditation. But you don’t need anyone to coach you through it. In a body scan, find a comfortable position, ideally lying down. Focus your awareness either at the top of your head or the tips of your tows and VERY slowly move that awareness across the length of your body. Notice the smallest possible details. Is there stress in your jaw? Are you inclined to smile? Are you eyes relaxed behind your closed eyelids? Where there is tension, try to relax that area. Where there is pain, practice compassion for yourself. Where there is pleasure or comfort, pause to notice and enjoy the sensation. A body scan helps us reconnect with the physical sensations of our body, to be in the present moment, and focus the mind on something other than the internal monologue.  

Pay attention to breathing

By far the simplest form of meditation, and my favorite is to pay attention to your breathing. It may help to consciously deepen and slow down your breath. For longer sessions of meditation you can simply pay attention to the natural flow of your breath. Notice the sensations in your body and experience a sense of flow. Meditation on breathing can be done for 20 seconds, taking just a few deep cleansing breaths, or you can do it for half an hour. The other great thing about breathing meditation is your an do it anywhere. This isn’t such a concern now, but when we return to our normal lives, you can focus on your breath sitting on an airplane, at your desk, in the grocery store checkout line. You can do it anywhere without drawing attention to yourself. 

Mantras 

Mantras are especially useful when your mind is really racing. A mantra is a short phrase that you repeat over and over in your mind. Often they align with your breathing so it connects with the exercise of paying attention to your breath. Some examples include: Breath in peace, breathe out love.

Right here right now, I am safe. Let go, restore. There is a virtually endless list of mantras that you can use to refocus your mind on a simple affirmative thought. Brain science tells us that simply saying to ourselves that we are safe, dramatically reduces the chemicals associated with anxiety. 

Today's A New Normal Goals

1. Body (health and fitness)  Squeeze in a six mile walk to the beach and back in between expected rainstorms, homemade blueberry muffins snack break at the beach midway.
2. Mind and Emotions (psychology and beliefs)  1) Re-read Chapter One of A New Earth by Eckhard Tolle. (Pushed for days, oof!), 2) Do a Body Scan Meditation session from above.
3. Relationships (spousal/significant other)  Focus on the positive relationship aspects that have surfaced during our Shelter In Place time together during our above walk to the beach. We're both rising to the occasion we are discovering!
4. Family  Play around with Zoom in order to learn how to display photos of a book for my granddaughter look at via the Share Screen function, while I read the text aloud to her.
5. Intellect/Learning Watch an Art History lecture on Cezanne that my art teacher posted to You Tube.
6. Social/Fun  Zoom with friends after dinner tonight, Zoom video date number #10 I think? Losing count, which is a very good thing!
7. Money/Finances  1) Contact the Pacific Symphony ticket office to reschedule their just-cancelled May concerts, 2) Notify our travel insurance company that we wish to take advantage of their offer to reschedule our Spain 2020 travel plans into 2021, 3) Rebook our airline-cancelled April flights to November at Thanksgiving instead.

How are you coping where you are?

A New Normal: Setting Daily Goals

Had a really good day yesterday, finding that setting daily objectives while under Shelter In Place provisions here in California providing a much needed sense of normalcy to my day, plus spending four hours outside walking and talking with my husband under sunny blue skies was a real mood lifter.

So here are my goals for today, followed by the results from yesterday's goals:

1. Body (health and fitness)  A three mile walk (it's lightly raining here, so less miles today), weight training with our 5, 10 and 15 pound free hand weights, and a 30 minute yoga session via YouTube.
2. Mind and Emotions (psychology and beliefs)  Re-read Chapter One of A New Earth by Eckhard Tolle. (Pushed from yesterday)
3. Relationships (spousal/significant other)  Make a batch of Chocolate Krinkle cookies for my husband. He loves my homemade cookies.
   
4. Family  Send the answer to yesterday's photo game to my granddaughter. She guessed 'steel,' a good guess! The answer was actually 'a tree/tree trunk.'
   
5. Intellect/Learning 1) Attend spiritual congregation Zoom meeting to discuss this month's read, The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi.  2)  Read another 1% of our next quarterly Book Club book, Angle of Repose by William Stegner.  3) Research and email a photo of a favorite art work that I would like my Art History professor to discuss in her next Zoom lecture.
6. Social/Fun  Zoom with some friends tonight, plus start on my 2020 Christmas ornament needlepoint project, Santa Claus-themed ornaments this time.
7. Money/Finances  Contact the Pacific Symphony ticket office to reschedule the remaining 2019/2020 season concerts that have been cancelled due to current Shelter In Place provision. The upcoming 2020/2021 classical and pops concert schedule was just released and it looks good. Boz Scaggs and David Foster will be performing, and I am excited for both!
8. Spirituality  'Attend' Sunday services via Zoom live video.

Yesterday's goals, and how I did:

1. Body (health and fitness)  Go on an exploratory hike with my husband, leaving from the house on foot, currently denoted as 'OK' per California's COVID-19 Shelter At Home guidelines.  ✅  We walked a total of eight miles.
2. Mind and Emotions (psychology and beliefs)  Re-read Chapter One of A New Earth by Eckhard Tolle.  No! Ran out of time, a good thing overall I think? So I'll move this forward to today.
3. Relationships (spousal/significant other)  Phone ahead and order a pickup lunch from one of our local eateries at the end of our hike, then find somewhere quiet and scenic to relax and enjoy eating it together.  ✅  We picked up a burrito from Baja Fresh to share.
4. Family  Look for an interesting photo op during our hike, and text it to my oldest granddaughter. I'm thinking of something along the lines of 'What is this?', where I'll take two photos, one a super close up that she'll have to think about, and one of the object itself from afar, the 'answer' in other words. We sent her a digital camera last week at my younger daughter's suggestion and she is enjoying the heck out of it, hence my idea above.  ✅  Sent her a close up photo of a tree trunk.
5. Intellect/Learning  Read 1% of our next quarterly Book Club book, Angle of Repose by William Stegner. (This is not a 'fun' book, it's a meaty, Pulitizer Prize winning novel, hence why I'm slotting it here and not below.)  ✅  
6. Social/Fun  Two Zoom video dates (with wine!), one with an east coast friend, and one with our long time best friends here on the west coast.  ✅
7. Money/Finances  Revise our 2020 Budget to reflect the reduction in Travel, Restaurants, Entertainment, and Gas that the fallout of COVID-19 will most certainly have on our spending choices for the remainder of the year. While the stock market plunge has been significant, it has not yet affected the portion of our portfolio that we budget off of, however common sense would dictate that we move to a more modest budgeting stance until things stabalize.  ✅
8. Spirituality  Meditate one time today, plus review the daily readings from my two spiritual books of choice.  ✅

A New Normal: Change Of Attitude

I had a bit of an epiphany this morning, as I got out of bed and wondered if it was going to be a good day, or a bad day. Prior to this global pandemic, I awoke pretty much every day with a sense of excitement because there was so much in my life to look forward to. We had plans, we had activities, we had family and friends, we had wide open outdoor spaces to explore and enjoy.

With all of that either drastically limited or completely off the table for the foreseeable future, I've been struggling, really struggling, to retain a sense of contentment as I move through my day. I don't want to fall into a trap of just slogging through each day, waiting for an end to this situation that may or may not arrive quickly.

This morning's epiphany occurred when I realized that I need to stop thinking of this as a temporary state of being, and instead think of it, and approach, it as our new normal.

So beginning today I'm going to beginning planning out my day with an eye toward covering the following areas to the best of my ability, in the hope that life will begin to once again feel joyful even in the midst of this pandemic. I can't change the outcome of our current situation, but I can change my attitude as we are going through it.

My Eight Daily Categories

1. Body (health and fitness)
2. Mind and Emotions (psychology and beliefs)
3. Relationships (spousal/significant other)
4. Family
5. Community
6. Social/Fun
7. Money/Finances
8. Spirituality

And here is my plan for each of them today:

1. Body (health and fitness)  Go on an exploratory hike with my husband, leaving from the house on foot, currently denoted as 'OK' per California's COVID-19 Shelter At Home guidelines.
2. Mind and Emotions (psychology and beliefs)  Re-read Chapter One of A New Earth by Eckhard Tolle.
3. Relationships (spousal/significant other)  Phone ahead and order a pickup lunch from one of our local eateries at the end of our hike, then find somewhere quiet and scenic to relax and enjoy eating it together.
4. Family  Look for an interesting photo op during our hike, and text it to my oldest granddaughter. I'm thinking of something along the lines of 'What is this?', where I'll take two photos, one a super close up that she'll have to think about, and one of the object itself from afar, the 'answer' in other words. We sent her a digital camera last week at my younger daughter's suggestion and she is enjoying the heck out of it, hence my idea above.
5. Intellect/Learning  Read 1% of our next quarterly Book Club book, Angle of Repose by William Stegner. (This is not a 'fun' book, it's a meaty, Pulitizer Prize winning novel, hence why I'm slotting it here and not below.)
6. Social/Fun  Two Zoom video dates (with wine!), one with an east coast friend, and one with our long time best friends here on the west coast.
7. Money/Finances  Revise our 2020 Budget to reflect the reduction in Travel, Restaurants, Entertainment, and Gas that the fallout of COVID-19 will most certainly have on our spending choices for the remainder of the year. While the stock market plunge has been significant, it has not yet affected the portion of our portfolio that we budget off of, however common sense would dictate that we move to a more modest budgeting stance until things stabalize.
8. Spirituality  Meditate one time today, plus review the daily readings from my two spiritual books of choice.

Week Two Of Covid-19 Shelter In Place Mandate

Like many of you currently, I suspect, I have good days, and I have bad days. The good days, like today, are generally when I start off with lots of time outdoors spent either hiking, walking, or kayaking, plus avoid all news other than from my two preferred sources (LA Times and NY Times). The bad days are when I do the reverse - stay indoors all day, and read/hear too much news.

Where is this Covid-19 thing going, and how will our world be affected in the aftermath? I have no idea, and since I can't control it, I'm far better off focusing on those things I can control.

Such as . . .

Family- I've spent a lot of time talking to my dad by phone in Texas this week, gently pushing him a bit more each day, until it was clear that he understood how critical it was that he stay at home as much as possible, and work to avoid being around others when he did go out. He finally agreed to cancel all of his pending social plans, and to alert his neighbor that he could no longer accept her kind dinner offerings. And I've talked with one or both of my daughters every day, sometimes by phone, but usual by virtue of the video conferencing tool, Zoom, which is turning out to be the best thing since sliced bread.

Friends- I'm using FaceTime to make virtual coffee dates with girlfriends, and my husband and I are using Zoom to set up video dates with couple friends, primarily on Friday and Saturday nights, saving Sundays for family. And we have been able to retain our long-running book club during this time as well by using Zoom. It's working out great, and a real point of pleasure during this incredibly difficult time.

Physical Health - I'm continuing to do intermittent fasting between dinner and lunch, about 16 hours in all, and in addition to not feeling remotely hungry between meals, the weight is continuing to come off. Eating until I'm good and full once a day, lunchtime in my case, seems to carry me until lunch the next day, excepting a very light dinner (generally 1/2 of whatever I'm serving my husband). Since moving to intermittent fasting (which we initiated on our cruise, simply to manage the overload of food they serve) I've lost 12 pounds, and my energy level has been consistently good. I'm so thankful to feel like my pre-menopause self again!

We are walking and hiking many miles weekly as well, and I'm also lifting small weights in our garage since our gym is closed. We have 5#, 10# and 15# weights, so I'm able to do a decent number of upper body exercises, plus walking and in-place squats with weights for my leg muscles.

Mental Health- My best days are those spent outdoors. It's a tad bit tricky to get outside and have enough space to practice proper social distancing, but we've learned that it's best if we head out prior to 8AM, and stick to remote areas only on the weekends. We found a way to walk to one of our favorite trails from the house this week, and we also found the hidden entrance to a quiet pocket park on top of one of the trail's many hills, leading us to this little slice of serenity, where we sat for quite some time before heading back:

Intellect- Our Lifelong Learning programs have gone online, as has my art class. I listened to a fabulous lecture about the artist Cezanne, studied Spanish, and learned a bit more about the Spanish Flu of 1918 and how it correlates to Covid-19. These online lectures are continuing to roll out as our various organizations get up to speed on video conferencing, and I am here for it!

Creativity- I'm continuing to practice piano, working on some very basic compositions of popular songs. I will never, ever be ready for primetime(!), but it gives me immense personal satisfaction all the same. I've also started working on some needlepoint Christmas ornaments for my family, something I really enjoy. And lastly, in going through my freezer to remove items that were simply taking up much needed space, I defrosted some leftover ricotta cheese, and used it to make this truly outstanding Ricotta Orange Pound Cake. And don't even think of leaving out the amaretto - it really makes a difference in the overall taste.

Fun - A bit lacking at the moment, though our outdoor time, and out video time with family and friends probably qualifies. Fun isn't really where my head is at at the moment. I'm fine with simply being content for now. Fun has a place, but likely not until this virus has made it's way through.

Week One of Covid-19 Shelter In Place Mandate

We passed the two week mark yesterday, marking 14 days since we disembarked both our cruise and the subsequent cross country flight home, and breathed a sigh of relief as we did so. We understand that we are still 100% vulnerable to picking up the Covid-19 virus here on our home turf, but at least we can put the worry of having been in two very problematic confined spaces (ship and airplane) behind us.

Orange County, where I live here in California, went into Shelter In Place mode on St. Patrick's Day, likely a deliberate move to try and minimize the celebrations that would have occurred otherwise. That was a strange day, as workplaces closed and we began to think through the long term ramifications of shuttering California's enormous economy. That was also the last day I read anything pertaining to the stock market, because it is just too stressful to do so at this time.

It's been an interesting week of self reflection and re-evaluation. I've gone from mourning the loss of our relatively carefree, pre-Covid 19 lives, to a renewed appreciation of simplicity. I am ever so thankful that we moved to our coastal location in 2017, and came to the conclusion that if we never traveled outside of the US or Canada again, I would be fine and at peace with that decision. To a certain degree, travel has provided a convenient distraction from doing the work of finding serenity within, and Covid-19 has finally forced me to do something about that.

Already, we have been told by two recently retired friends that they plan to reenter the work force once businesses reopen. I am saddened on their behalf, even as I appreciate that they are likely still going to be better off, financially, once this is behind us, than their younger counterparts, many of whom may be laid off without the benefit of a substantial nest egg to buffer them.

Our usage of video conferencing has zoomed this week. Think FaceTime, Skype, Google hangout, and Zoom. We've used all four to set up virtual face-to-face get together's with family and friends. We've been doing so, in particular, with our two granddaughters on the east coast, both to stay in touch, as well as to try and give their mommy, our youngest daughter, a bit of a break as much as we can. Her husband is a naval officer currently on deployment, and therefore she is the current sole entertainer for her two little ones. It's been a joy for us to have so much time with our granddaughters, as we alternate between reading to them, having them pretend-read to us, watching them play, and newly this past weekend, having joint coloring sessions where we color and chat together, pausing occasional to show each other our coloring progress via our respective webcams.

We've also been walking or working outside of our home every day in order to take in as much fresh air as possible. As a result, we've seen some wonderful wildlife - two osprey being chased away from nests by a pair of determined crows, a dolphin feeding just in front of a line of paused surfers, , and last evening a Cooper's hawk landed on a post in our backyard and gazed out over our canyon while I watched from within.

We've been eating well, and are trying to make it somewhat of an occasion by having our lunches outside when the day is nice, and dinner in our dining room. As much time as we are spending at home, I want to utilize more of it in order to feel like we are changing up our environment on a regular basis.

We miss the privilege of biking, hiking, kayaking whenever and wherever we want, but we are thankful for what we do still have - the ability to walk from our home and select from among a variety of routes. Today, for example, we are going to do a circuit that will provide both ocean and canyon views on our way to the market, where we will do some limited grocery shopping before walking back home.

I don't know yet what our post-Covid 19 lives will look like, trying to prepare mentally as best I can,  but I have been able to experience periods of peace and serenity as I move throughout my day. I didn't get there overnight, for sure. I started from a place of pretty much shock. But some two weeks in, I am experiencing serenity via my daily check-ins with family, my online dates with friends, working in my yard, taking care of deferred household chores, cooking up nutritious meals, and re-establishing a sense of normalcy via technology. We quickly began utilizing it to stay in touch with family and friends, as mentioned above, and now our spiritual community, our Lifelong Learning community, and bits and pieces of our arts and culture community are up and using it as well. It's not at the all the same thing as being together in person, but it is a thousand times better than not having it available at all.

I am no Pollyanna, but there is enough craziness out there without adding to it here, so instead I would love to hear how some are you finding peace, happiness, or serenity at this moment in time.

Hoping For The Best, Preparing For The Worst

We are preparing for, and coping with, the Covid-19 outbreak as best we can, similar to all of you I am sure. I will say that I am incredulous at how quickly things have unfolded here in the USA over the last seven days. I am thankful we arrived home when we did, so that we could get to work replenishing our pantry, fridge and freezer before the recent panic buying set in and grocery shelves were left bare. From last Sunday, when we first arrived home, until today, just one week later, things have been moving fast.

I have the same fears that everyone else does, but I remain hopeful that we will come out of this stronger and with a renewed sense of what matters to each one of us in our individual lives. In my case that would be family, friends, and community. Nothing else seems terribly important at this point.

Per the graph above, we are focused on social distancing in order to slow the spread of the virus to others that might be highly vulnerable due to age or underlying conditions. Nina Fussing over at Wheeling It has put up an excellent blog post that I would encourage all to read, detailing what we may all be in store for in the weeks ahead if we don't start practicing social distancing NOW.

In the meantime, stay safe, and be kind to your fellow citizens. We are all in this together.